


Still In Motion: Mitarai's IF

by CometMystic



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bone Trauma, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, Emetophobia, Head Injury, Minor Hospitalization, Multi, Trans Character, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-28 16:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8454061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CometMystic/pseuds/CometMystic
Summary: Mitarai Ryota is saddled with a choice, and another reason to cry at night.





	1. Divert, Deluge, Despair

**Author's Note:**

> ("Sagishi" is what the Super High School Level Impostor is referred to in Japanese, and this fic will follow suit for consistency's sake.)

    "You can run, if you want! But if you do, I may choose your precious classmates for the next mutual killing."

    Mitarai writhed as bile burned his throat and nose. His heart nearly leapt from his chest, with each beat setting his veins ablaze with fright and nigh splitting his skull open. Taking each breath was a struggle, like his lungs were at the verge of collapsing in on themselves. Colored blots filled his vision, and his body refused to respond. He was trapped, and the end of days breathed frost onto the back of his neck.

    "Oh my God, your despair is sooo good, urgh! I really wish I could just sit here and watch you wiggle around like this for hours! But, I'm kinda busy, so..." Enoshima dug her heels into his frail shoulder blades, venom seeping through her teeth as Mitarai squirmed. "Gonna need your answer, Mitarai-kun! What's it gonna be, hm~?" Another stomp. And another.

    She's going to hurt them. But she already is - and if she had the video, this would spread. Sagishi, their friends, the entire school. _Oh God, this would spread._

    "Don't make it knock it out of you, or your teeth are coming with!" A metal 'clang'. She picked up the baseball bat.

    It burned everything was burning burning seething no no this can't be happening this can't this _can't this cAN'T_ -

    "NO! **NO!** " He flailed his hands with strength he never knew he had, but to no avail. Before he could get any leverage, Ikusaba dashed over and pinned his arms against his back, slamming his head against the hardwood floor in the process.

    Next he knew, Enoshima sat next to him, lifting his head up by his hair, shard red nails almost drawing blood as she did.

    "Run that by me one more time, senpai?"

Flashes of Sagishi's face gave him pause. Their smile as they told ridiculous stories about their classmates. The softness of their voice as they kept him healthy. The determination in their eyes as they learned about him and his craft with such care that he's never felt before.

    He'd be sentencing their friend to a slow, hopeless death.

    But it was them, or everyone else.

    "I... S-said no...!"

    Enoshima froze. She didn't move a muscle, and stared right past Mitarai's eyes, with a blank expression, for what felt to him like an unbearable eternity. Silence made him realize in how much pain he was. His head throbbed as though it was being torn down with a sledgehammer from the inside. Sweat coated his entire body, sticking his clothes to the sore bruises all over his body. The bones in his arms were on the verge of caving in, and he was sure some ribs were cracked. His heartbeat got louder and louder, overwhelming, deafening, and her eyes burrowed deeper, and deeper, and deeper into him. It seemed like it was endless -

    "...Bummer. Alright, you heard him! Let him go."

    Mitarai did not wait. He ran. He ran as fast as he could on pure adrenaline. Hardwood became steel, then grass. He needed to find them. He needed to tell them. Pain started to overwhelm his senses. He could save them. His vision blurred. He could save them. He lost his footing. He could save them where are they just need to find hurts sorry so sorry _hurts could save sorry just need_ -

 

    And everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

    "... _'Bummer'_? Junko-chan, I... Don't get why you let him go." 

    "Pffft, come on, Sis, do you really think I give a shit about the video? It'd just make things easier and get us to the fun stuff faster - I don't need it. Honestly, shame on me for trying to take the easy way out!"

    "...Well, what's the plan now, then?"

    "You are going to keep your ugly ass right here and watch for any _guests_. As for me... I think I'm going to have a little heart-to-heart with our classmates! Upupupupu..."

 

* * *

 

    Mitarai woke up with a start. Unfocused eyes scanned around, but all he got in return were confusing mosaics of color. His entire body felt like a bag of rocks, and it only got worse as he moved to rub his eyes, stinging and sore all over, especially so around his head and back, where he could find bandages. 

    The colors began to take shape, and he was able to identify this as the Kibougamine infirmary. Further investigation led his eyes to one of the bed's sides, where a chair lay, occupied by a familiar face.

    "You're up!" Sagishi lifted themselves and ran up to Mitarai. "How are you feeling? Are you alright?"

    Seeing their face clicked everything back into place.

    Mitarai narrowly avoided falling off his bed trying to grab them by the shoulders, thanks to Sagishi's quick reflexes. "W-where?! Where is everyone?!"

    "Mitarai, please, don't exert -"

    "No, no! You don't understand, they're after you, t-they're - oh God, Sagishi-san, no, we have to hide, _we have to hide!_ "

    "There's just us here," they said, moving their own arms to his shoulders.

    Mitarai didn't know where to begin to understand what he's heard. He looked into their eyes, looking to find something there, but all he saw was concern and melancholy. "What...?"

    "The school is on lock-down because of the riots outside. It's just us and the others here. We're already hidden and safe, Mitarai."

    Hearing that drained him of all the energy he had. "...S-safe?" He had to fight a knot in his throat to get that word out.

    Sagishi's reassuring nod broke him. Tears burning his eyes, he reached for the tightest embrace either of them has ever had. His sobbing got louder as he felt their hands softly rubbing their back.

    They stood with him like this for hours, only breaking the silence to repeat the most comforting word they could think of:

    "Safe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally something I rushed to finish as a one shot, but then I decided to make this a multi-chapter thing! ...Then I accidentally deleted my original A/N, eheh... I hope you enjoy this and have a lovely day!


	2. A Silence that Screams is Too Much to Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitarai's classmates want him to rest. But he wants them to rest, too.

    Line. Undo. Line. Undo. Line. Save. Line. Undo.

    Mitarai's energy withered away with each frame of animation he drew. Every color and shape drained his strength, as though his very spirit was his ink, bleeding into the canvas and leaving him colder and weaker with each stroke of his pen.

    ("Mitarai-kun? Are you there? We're... We're worried about you.")

    Buzzing drilled into his ears, muffling the audio clip he painstakingly listened to again, and again, and again, and again, as he matched his character's lip movements to its sound, his head getting closer to bursting with each mistake he saw.

    ("A-are we sure he's in there...?" "He can't be anywhere else... ...I think.")

    He could feel his heart beating from every extremity in his body, fingers trembling, lips dry, throat sore, eyes burning. But he couldn't stop. He had no right.

    ("Here, let me - Oi, Mitarai. We... Really need to talk.")

    The rational part of him kept tempting him to stop. To leave, to rest. To let the reality of the situation sink in and work on accepting it. But then he remembered his would-be classmates' faces as they filled him in on the days he had lost. 

    ("Mitarai. Mitarai, I know you're there. Please...")

    As they talked about the riots, the murders, their choice to lock themselves inside the school with the certainty that everyone outside, be it acquaintances, family or loved ones, were being tortured and killed... Though he knew only two or three of them by name, he could tell they were tired. Weak. The strength they had to band together until things got better was the last shred of it left. Mitarai wondered if that, too, would be shattered if they learned that within the confines of their safe space lies one of the ones responsible. ...No. He knew it would be.

    ("M-... M-maybe he's asleep...?" "He's not. Mitarai...")

    He ran. Coward that he was, he left this monstrous situation for the world to deal with and ran. Anything would have been better. There were so many ways to have combated this; sabotaging the video, sticking with Enoshima until he could rebel, even just screaming until someone came. But he ran. So, he would fight now. It was his responsibility to finish the Hope Video, and he refused to take any time for himself. Because he knew the people outside couldn't.

    "Ryouta, we need to be alright TOGETHER, **PLEASE!** "

    A thud at his door is what it took to steal his gaze from his work. Faint sobbing soared from between the cracks in the door frame and tore at his heartstrings like rusted daggers. A chill traveled from his spine to his feet, numbing every appendage in its path. His stomach turned, turned, turned, a sickening blanket of heat covering his body more and more as it did - miserable, unbearable. And all it took to break him completely were the hushed whispers and footsteps moving away from his door that followed. "He just needs some time... He's going to be okay... We'll be okay..."

     Mitarai scrambled to the restroom as best as his exhausted body allowed, tripping over his own feet and ramming himself onto the walls. Shaky fingers gripped the toilet's seat, hurling it up, with barely enough time to let the creamy, acidic contents of his stomach into the bowl. He struggled to breathe through the bile that burned through his windpipe, and the tears and sweat that clung to his face, his own gasps and whimpers tormenting him as they echoed in the confined space.

    He lost himself in his despair. He wasn't aware of his surroundings, his body, or even time - the weight of grief, his, Sagishi's and his schoolmates, crushing his rib cage from the inside was all there was. It took him ages to remember he was alive. And it would take him more time than he had to spare to start believing that was a good thing.

    Finally coming to, he found himself still kneeling before the seat, tears only just starting to dry, and his entire body sore. It felt like a miracle that it responded as he told it to move. He had to drag each of his limbs, almost crawling, to get himself into his room, still lost, disoriented, and hurt. Stepping foot into his room, he considered trying to force more work out of himself, perhaps going until he passed out atop his tablet, as he usually did -

    "Feeling better?"

    Mitarai flung himself to the ground, his eyes jumping about to find the source of that hideous voice. Once they set on his work chair, he recognized it - a bear. Short, stout, monochrome, save for a red eye that took a mocking, sinister shape of the Kibougamine insignia, sitting with crossed legs and looming over him with a vile grin on its face. "Guess not, huh? It's alright, take your time!" Everything about its mannerisms, its tone, its presence was so oppressive, as though venom was seeping from its mouth and tainting the air around them.

    "W-... W-who... What..." He couldn't speak. He couldn't comprehend what was happening. He was drowning on his fears, and his struggling only sunk him deeper.

    "Do you remember a little promise someone made you once? Something about your friends...? Murder...? Ring any bells? Upupupu," it teased, leaning forward with each word.

    Oh God, no. No, _no_ , not this, he needed to stop this, _this couldn't happen._ Careless, shaking fingers scrambled to reach into his suit jacket's breast pocket, almost dropping his cellphone onto the floor several times after procuring it. His breathing got louder and louder as he stamped and swiped onto the screen, rushing to find something in his gallery folders. "PSI.mpeg4". This mistake, this travesty that robbed people of their conscience - it made him sick to remember it even existed. It was never meant to be seen again, it was there to forbid him from forgetting he did this, but this was more important than that, or anything else.

    The video played, the abstract vortex of colors and sounds swarming from the device into the bear. Mitarai's eyes burned with fear as moments turned to minutes, his anticipation only growing more and more intense as time passed and it stood still. It must have been working. It wasn't moving, it wasn't talking, so it had to have been. There was hope, he could save his classmates, the people outside... He could save Sagishi -

    "See, you got the right idea, and kudos to you on that! Thing is, these right here," it started, tapping its eyes, "are _reeeeeally_ bad! I can't see the swirly-whirly thing you're showing right, 'cause the colors are all messed up, and every time something moves, it gets all choppy-like! It's almost like I'm mass produced or something...!"

    Mitarai sprung to his feet, almost losing his balance as he dashed towards the door. His class had a lot of strong people, right? They could run, or fight the bear, or -

    "Welp, speaking of..."

    He toppled over, his frail body sprawled on the floor, as arms and legs were weighed down by things he couldn't see. Spraining his neck to turn his head, he could see more bears, all sporting the same malicious grin, pinning him with their stubby arms. He tried to struggle free, but before he could work up a sweat, something cold and sharp pressed against his jugular.

    "I'll make this quick, before we have to get your little Impostor friend to get over here and clean up after you," it said, grabbing his chin and locking eye contact. "You probably figured out this whole thing was a trap, right? The whole 'putting you guys together in an enclosed space' thing? Well, yeah! But it wasn't a trap meant for you! We were saving that for some other schmucks. But that whole plan went down the drain after a _certain animator_ just **had** to be a party pooper! Ugh, but that's in the past - don't worry, I forgive you! I'm just going to need you to help me fix this. There's a laundry list of things to set up and fix, the motives need reworking, the memory wipe stuff is gonna cause problems 'cause some people look too different... It's a mess! A mess, I tells you! But, hey, at least it's appropriate I got your helping hand to do things, since it's your fault, and all!"

    He wanted to scream. Scream until his vocal chords ripped themselves apart, about how it was wrong, about how he didn't understand what it was talking about, even scream for help, though no one would hear any of it through his soundproof walls, felt like a necessity at this point. But had he any right to? He hadn't even thought of the possibility of trapping everyone in like this. He was too careless, and it was the others who had to pay for it. This _was_ his fault.

    "So, you probably know how this works by now, right? You're outmanned, outgunned, and you get to choose between helping me or getting your friends mercilessly killed? You gotta used to this by now!" Its grin sharpened.

    Mitarai paused. He let what he was hearing, what was happening around him, register in his mind. Assessing the situation dawned a realization on him that shifted all his fears into acceptance. "We'll j-just... Die anyway, right?"

    "Wha?!" That was the first time it showed any emotion other than smug condescension.

    "You'll just... Get us killed anyway. All w-working with you would do is get you what you want. I'm... Not giving you the satisfaction," he spat, with resolve he didn't realize he had.

    "Ugh! No, no, _no_ , I'm not gonna take this defeatist attitude from you, young man! At least with my game, one of you would be getting out of here! Would you rather just doom all of you in one fell swoop? That's really irresponsible! Shame on you, Mitarai-kun!" It sounded oddly offended, more than he'd ever expect, but he didn't have it in him to care anymore.

    A few moments passed in silence, save for some obnoxious humming from the bear, until it spoke up again, not a second too soon. "...If you're going to be a big baby about this, how's about I sweeten the deal?"

    "Nothing you say will change my mind. Please leave me alone. Let me... D-die..." He could feel tears gushing from the corners of his eyes as he admitted his fate to himself for the first time.

    "Oh, yeah? I think I got something that'll perk your ears! Upupu..."

 

* * *

 

    Mitarai's own footsteps on his way to the cafeteria felt like nails digging into his skull. In reality, every stimuli that crashed into him at the moment did. The feeling of his pants ruffling against his legs as they moved. The bobbing of his head as his weight shifted. The aching of his nails digging into his palms. All of it, so unpleasant, so overwhelming. He could only hope this would be gone soon.

    He approached the doorway, and he could already make out a few voices in the distance, some louder than others.

    "Gasp! He is coming! Ibuki can sense it!" Some much louder than others.

    "Huh? Who's commin'?"

    " _He._ "

    He stepped into the room to see a colorful individual leaning forward to point at him from the other side of the table. With time, people next to them began to take notice and turned their eyes to look at him. Before he had time to really get a read on any of them, a pair rose from their seats and ran over to him. A small person in a cream hoodie and coral hair, and -

    "I'm sorry." Mitarai narrowly avoided being knocked onto the floor a third time as Sagishi threw their weight onto him, embracing him tighter than they have before. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Their voice was so strained, it was a wonder they were even talking in the first place.

    "Sagishi-san... I'm..." He stopped himself, deciding against lying to them, electing instead to lead his own arms to return the embrace.

    "I didn't mean to yell. I'm just scared. I need you to be okay. I'm so sorry." Mitarai could feel his shoulders dampening, and he could feel his own eyes burning with tears he didn't have to shed anymore.

    "It's okay, Sagishi-san," he replied, his tone hushed and subdued.

    "Please let us help you stay safe. We need to be okay together. We need to get through this together - please don't lock us out anymore. We need you." Their hold on him only got tighter as he spoke.

    Neither of them talked after that. They allowed themselves to enjoy this affection in silence, as words were too difficult to deal with at the moment. This warmth was enough.

    Their time together was only cut short when, from beside them, a gentle voice caught their attention. "I'm really happy you two are close. But I think we should sit down to eat now. You can always save and continue this hug later," the hoodie person chimed in, with a sweet smile on their face.

    "Of course. There's a seat for you right there, Mitarai. You're going to love having Hanamura's dishes for the first time!" Sagishi finally let go to return to their seat, their face still exhausted, but now their eyes had something. A vibrant spark of life.

    "Yeah. Actually, everyone... Before I do, I have I'd like to show you."

    "Tread with caution, Echoed One. My cohorts and I are weary, and to have our time and energy, limited as it is, to be squandered on mere, superfluous drivel, when we are in dire need of rest, will be an insult that shan't be taken lightly," boasted a scarved individual from one of the corners of the room.

    "Ah, Tanaka-san, I don't believe we need to be so cautious. I think it would do us well to meet our friend! He is an animator, yes? Then maybe we will be entertained!" A blonde person grabbed the scarved one's shoulder, to which they mellowed in response, but still glared at Mitarai with intensity. 

    "Did he make us a cartoon?! Is it cute, like with kitties and giant fruit and stuff? ...Or is he of those sickos that make pandering, disgusting bullshit for greasy guys like him?"

    "Do I gotta quit eatin' for this? 'Cuz I'm not gonna." "Akane-chan, you're going to choke if you keep going so fast...! Hanamura, don't start. Go away." 

    "Ah, how exciting! I wonder what kind of hope the talents of a true Super High School Level Animator will bring, ahahahahah!" "Gah, calm down, man! Stop laughing like that! Ya don't even know if it's anime he's gonna show!" "Oh, right! Of course I don't! Sorry, ahah."

    Mitarai wasn't looking at where the voices were coming from anymore. They blurred together, overwhelming him with sounds upon sounds layered together, while he tried to conduct his focus went into what he was doing. "This won't take more than a minute," he finished, digging his hands into his breast pocket.

    With the press of a play button, he turned his device to his class. Soon enough, the room was driven into total, complete silence. Eyes dulled, jaws slacked, heads slumped.

    And, in a room where cold was the air and dead was hope, Mitarai wailed and begged for forgiveness. But there was no one there to hear him anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this a thing! I will be making a collection for this AU and writing little small stories on the side to flesh things out a bit, so look forward to that! I hope you enjoy this, and whatever it is I have to offer in the future! Have a great day!


End file.
